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The Ancient and Accepted Order of Speculative Haberdashery

Also known as: 'The Knitters"



Illuminated Ravens of the Shapeshifting Order of Vega

Inner-Sanctum of the Galactically Paranoid

(Production Overlords)


Reptilis Augustus Maximus:

Glaxnort Flatula’a 14, “The Nebulous”

(a.k.a.: Michel Jacques Gagné)


Reptilis Secundus Elevatum:

Grox Klud’ar Nartsswzzl 7, “the Planet Crusher”

(a.k.a.: Joan Daniel Lillo)

Wielder of the Mighty Scepter of Fictional Knowledge


(Levels 4 to 32):

Knights Solaris of the Ethereal Silkworm

Interstellar Mandarins, Patriarchs, Oligarchs and Operatives

(Production Partners)

Surrogate Wielder of the Golden Sirkovian Gauntlet

Matthew "Marky" Marc

Assistant Chief Conductor of Interstellar Travel

Prof. Scott "Scooter" Halse

Globetrotting Collector of International Intrigue  

Prof. Roberto Mazza

Archivist of Secret Murders and Mind Control

(Psychological Warfare Division)

Sean Gaston


Presently processing suitable Manchurian Candidates


Sacred Guild of the Needle and Spool

Grand Master Tailors

(Production Associates)


Anthony Granato

Director of Photography

Observer of Southern Landscapes

Martin Hekker

Website Artwork


Éliane Gagné

Intro Voice-Over


Shirley McBride

Voice-Over Prophetess

Jean-Daniel Gagné

Anthropomorphic Test Device

Tramo Beats

Theme Music


Ferdi “Freddy” Eren

Court Haberdasher


Nelson Gibeau †

Former Contracts Consultant &

Current Guardian Angel

Prof. Stephen Hawkins

Philosophical Muse

Prof. James Jervis

Interdimensional Oracle and Spectator of True Crime

The Honorable Napoleon Q. Egglestump III, esq. 


Prof. Dan Babineau

Silver Screen Guru & Zombie Contingency Planner

Kevin "mafiaboy" Strike

Clandestine Operations & Hacker Extraordinaire

Prof. David Millar

Toastmaster General

Psychedelic Cup-bearer of the Royal Court of Reptoids 

Prof. Matthew Newland

Ambassador to the Ancient Alexandrian Audio-Library

Prof. Andrew Arthur Hammel, Esq., 
Meister von die Kölsch und Hefeweizen

Criminal Legal Advisor 

(as in "criminal law" not "criminal advisor")


Menders of the Sacred Fleece

(Expert Interviewees)


Prof. Joe Uscinski

Associate Professor of Political Science,

University of Miami


Dr. Royce Lee, M.D.

Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience,

University of Chicago Medical School


Mike Lofgren

Professional Staff Member (retired),

Readiness Subcommittee of the House Armed Services Committee,

United States Congress


Prof. Kathryn Olmsted

Professor of History,

University of California, Davis


Mike Kropveld

Founder and Executive Director,

Info-Cult/Info-Secte, Montreal, Canada

Tony Ortega

Editor, Journalist and Blogger

Founder and Director, The Underground Bunker 


Fielding M. McGehee III

Research Director, The Jonestown Institute

Editor, The Jonestown Report  


Jonathan Kay

Senior Editor, Quillette Magazine

Columnist, The National Post

Political Commentator, CBC

Joel Robichaud


Champlain College Saint-Lambert

Prof. Paul Bramadat

Professor of Religion and History,

Director of the Centre for Studies in Religion and Society.

University of Victoria

Prof. Kyle Harper

Professor of Classics and Letters,

Institute for the Study of Human Flourishing,

and Provost Emeritus,
University of Oklahoma

Max Holland

Former Journalist, The Nation

Independent Historian and Author

Editor and Blogger, Washington Decoded 

Prof. Michael Barkun

Professor Emeritus of Political Science,

University of Syracuse,

Author of A Culture of Conspiracy


Toby Ball

Journalist and Crime Fiction Author

Creator and host of the Strange Arrivals podcast

Prof. Peter Knight

Professor of American Studies

University of Manchester 

Fred Litwin

Independent Researcher and Author

Paul Bleau

Independent Researcher and Author

Jefferson Morley

Journalist, Editor, and Author

Brian Dunning

Science Author, Podcaster, and Documentary Filmmaker

Founder and host of the Skeptoid podcast 

Prof. Pablo Policzer

Professor of Political Science:

Comparative Politics of Latin America

University of Calgary

Andrew Arthur Hammel 

Former attorney and law professor

Author and blogger


Judge Burt Griffin (ret.)

Judge of the Common Please Court, Cuyahoga County, Ohio

Former Assistant Counsel of the Warren Commission 

Jacqueline Johnson, DSW, MS, LCSW-R

Clinical Social Worker

Trauma, Abuse, and Cult Recovery Specialist

Executive Director: International Cultic Studies Association

Nigel Chapman

Writer, Computer programmer, and Christian evangelist 

Mark Milke, PhD

Public Policy Analyst 

Founder and President: The Aristotle Foundation for Public Policy 


Spinners of the Golden Yarn

(Volunteer interviewees)


Paul "I can sell you anything" H.

R.-P. B.

Stephane "Bumblebee" Saura

Victor 'Wailing Wall" Levy

Steve "Smash" Nash

Alexina Lavoie

Brent "Two Minutes for Hooking" Schiess

Len Osanic (host: Black Op Radio)

Peter Wilkinson

Anna R.

Paul Brady

Topher McCune

Paul Catanu

Susan H.

Austin G.

Doug P.

Elizabeth F.

John Z.

D.J. Mykel "Quince" Myrick

Paul "I Have a Particular Set of Skills" Huston

Prof. Nathan Loewen

Ryan Ray (host: Inside the War Room)

James K. Lambert (filmmaker: Conspiracy Theorists Lie)

Paul Jensen

Sarah Edmondson (co-host: A Little Bit Culty)

Anthony "Nippy" Ames (co-host: A Little Bit Culty)


Shearers and Herders

(Impromptu Interviewees, Mail List Subscribers, anonymous members of the Paranoid Planet Old Boy's Choir, Food testers, Unidentified donors, and other Malleable Minions)


The Profane Rabble

(Our passive brainwashed listeners)


(Everyone Else)






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