THEME SONG CONTEST: Send us your best musical adaptation of our theme song lyrics and run the chance of getting your creation aired on the show or posted on our website. Rock, Rap, Rush, Jazz, Funk, Ska, K-Pop, Polka party, or Paul Anka... It’s all good. Just keep it PG.
Paranoid Planet (theme song)
Devils all around me
Suspicious lights in the sky
Elections rigged by the oligarchy
Official story’s a lie
9/11 was an inside job
Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy
Lady Di a victim of assassination
Planned by the Queen and Illuminati
They say we live on a Paranoid Planet
Where everything is not as it seems
Where white is black and the leaders are looters
Gotta wake up from this terrible dream
A spy is watching from behind the curtains
An evil genius is pulling the switch
My brain in a vat onboard a Vegan starship
Those chemical trails are really making me itch
(“...And turn the frickin' frogs gay!”)
They say we live on a Paranoid Planet
Where everything is not as it seems
Where white is black and the winners are losers
Gotta wake up from this terrible dream
An Enemy Above me...
An Enemy Beneath me...
An Enemy Beside me...
An Enemy Inside me!
Enemies lurking inside my house
I grab a [insert weapon of choice], prepared for Helter-Skelter
They leap out of the closets and from behind the couch
To shower me with concern...
(“Happy Birthday!”)
(“We want to help you!”)
...but I know better.
...Yeah, I know better. (x4)
They say I live on a Paranoid Planet
Where Men in Black watch me through my portable screen
Where my thoughts are controlled by evil shape-shifting lizards
Please wake me up from this terrible dream
They say I live on a Paranoid Planet
Where Terran Monkey Men are coming for me
Where [insert horrible villain] feeds on the brains of our children
Please wake me up from this terrible dream!
Please! Please! Please wake me up from this terrible dream!
You gotta tell’em,
You gotta tell’em,
You gotta tell’em...
"Soylent Green is People!”
(“You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!”)
(c) MJG 2019